Let’s just say it straight: a lot of men out there are struggling to connect. To talk to women. To date. To have sex. To feel wanted. If you’ve felt this, you’re not alone. And no, you’re not broken. You’re living in a world that’s changed faster than anyone could keep up with. The rules of dating have shifted. Women have changed. Society has changed. And many men—especially Gen X and millennials—are quietly getting left behind. This isn’t some incel rant or pity party. It’s reality, backed by hard numbers. According to Pew Research, 63% of men under 30 are single, nearly double the rate for women in the same age group. A growing number of guys in their 30s, 40s, even 50s are also going years without sex or meaningful relationships. One study in JAMA found that almost 1 in 3 men aged 18 to 24 reported no sex at all in the past year. That’s not “dry spell” territory—that’s an epidemic.
Modern Dating Is a Minefield
Let’s not sugarcoat it—dating today is brutal. Apps have turned it into a numbers game, and if you’re not a top 10% guy with model looks or flashy status, you’re practically invisible. Swipe after swipe, maybe a match—then radio silence. Or worse, ghosted. In real life? It’s even more awkward. You’re told not to be creepy, not to be too forward, not to say the wrong thing—but no one gives you a roadmap for what actually works. The old “guy makes the first move” script doesn’t fly anymore, and the new one is blurry at best. Add in social media, years of porn, and endless hours online, and you’ve got a whole generation of men who never really learned how to talk to women. Confidence tanks. Conversations feel forced. And rejection just confirms what some already fear—that they’re not wanted.
I’ve Seen It Firsthand—With Our Own Son
This isn’t just something I’ve read about in studies or seen online. I’ve witnessed it up close, in my own house. Our son is 18, and about to graduate high school. He’s smart, funny, nice-looking, kind, and goes to a large school with more than enough attractive girls to go around—but he’s never been on a date of any kind, not even to homecoming or prom. He’s never kissed a girl and definitely has never had sex. A few years ago, when he was 15 or 16, he said he wanted to try to get better at talking to girls—maybe go on some dates or find a girlfriend—we bought him books and courses on the subject, but it never went anywhere. We decided to drop the subject, and over the last year? Nothing. He hasn’t even mentioned girls.
He’s about to have his senior prom, and there’s no effort. No date. No excitement. Just indifference. And the thing is—he’s not lazy. He’s just never learned how. And while we’ve tried as parents to encourage him, the influences of society and his peers have proven much stronger. All he’s ever known socially is video games, YouTube, Anime, and online life. He didn’t grow up flirting in the lunch line or asking girls to the movies. He doesn’t have those instincts, those social muscles. And it breaks my heart, because I know how much he’s missing, and that he’s not the only one. There’s a whole generation of young men like him—disconnected, unsure, lacking social skills, and quietly slipping into emotional isolation.
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