There can be a time in some relationships, both new and long-term, that a silent question arises: How do we keep the spark alive? Couples frequently begin looking for new ways to feel closer, both physically and emotionally, as routines settle in and life becomes busier.
One increasingly popular and delightfully daring solution? Exploring sex toys together.
Why Sex Toys Are More Than Just “Extras”
Sex toys, which were once just whispered about or kept in drawers, are now a major topic in many happy, healthy relationships. Sex toys are becoming symbols of candid communication, trust, and emotional courage rather than just being “extras” or indicators of something lacking. Discovering what excites your spouse, being vulnerable to them, and enjoying the process of exploring together are all important aspects of trying something new in the bedroom.
“If you haven’t experimented with sex toys for couples in the bedroom, you’re missing out on a whole world of pleasure.”
– Dr. Nan Wise, 2020
Including sex toys in an intimate relationship isn’t a fix; it’s a celebration for couples who are curious, courageous, or just yearning for connection. To put it another way, it’s like, “We trust each other so well, so we play and explore in bed together!”
Why More Couples of Today Are Embracing Sex Toys
A research study conducted by the University of Copenhagen polled about 12,000 persons in Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, France, and the United Kingdom. The researchers found that over 50% of respondents owned a sex toy, of which 55–65% used them either solo or regularly with their respective partner, while only 10-15% used them casually.
One of the study’s lead researchers says that using sex toys with a partner likely reflects and fosters. Importantly, the frequency of using sex toys with a partner was the best indicator of sexual relationship and life satisfaction, not age or gender. The sex toys are more than just fun toys to play with; they are signs and ways to promote the emotional health of couples.
The Real Benefits of Using Sex Toys Together as a Couple
- Better Communication
When talking about sex toys, couples should talk about their limits, kinks, and fantasies. This helps the couple connect more openly and clearly, not just in bed.
- More Intimacy
People who use toys like vibrators and rings together can feel and experience new things. Based on one sexologist, the benefits of sex toys include making sex more fun, helping people have better orgasms, and, of course, encouraging them to learn about their bodies.
- Stress-Free Exploration
Studies show that using sex toys can help with performance anxiety and mismatched libidos by making things more interesting and taking some of the pressure off during sex. These are also good for the heart, help you sleep better, and are even easier for people with disabilities or other physical limitations to use. Using sex toys has a lot of health benefits, too many to list!
- Solo Play that Brings You Closer
Opening up about the toys you use, whether it’s a female sex toy or a male sex toy, can be a deeply intimate and vulnerable bonding experience with your partner. Watching your partner or engaging in solo play can help build trust and help each other know what the other likes better.
Do You Want to Start Using Sex Toys with Your Partner?
If you want to talk about using sex toys with your partner, it has to be in a calm and clear way, it doesn’t have to be awkward. Experts say to keep things lighthearted because humor can help ease anxiety and make the topic seem less scary. Presenting the idea as an enjoyable and mutual exploration of your curiosity works better than framing it as a solution to an existing problem, like if you both have struggles in achieving satisfaction during sex.
Timing is important. Don’t bring it up during intercourse when feelings are running high or expectations may feel pressured. Instead, pick a calm, relaxed setting where both of you can speak honestly with each other. Making it obvious that this is about growing together rather than fixing something that is broken is crucial. It’s about encouraging curiosity and collaboration, rather than performance or responsibility.
Crucial Reminder: Always prioritize consent and mutual enthusiasm!
Choosing the Right Toys Together
If you’re just getting started, it’s ideal to start with the basic beginner-friendly options when selecting sex toys as a pair so that you can get comfortable with the experience without feeling overwhelmed. Here are some great starter ideas:
- Wearable vibrators to stimulate one another
- Vibrating rings to increase and intensify pleasure
- Massage wands for erotic and soothing applications
- Bullet vibrators for solo or partnered play
- Male stroker sleeves to explore solo sensation together
Tip: Pick well-reviewed products from reliable merchants and give priority to body-safe materials, for example: medical-grade silicone.
The Emotional & Physical Perks of Sex Toys
Beyond increasing pleasure, using sex toys in your relationship has several positive effects on your overall physical and emotional health. Although orgasms are experienced through partner or solo play with a toy, they release endorphins and oxytocin, which are neurochemicals that reduce stress, elevate mood, and promote emotional bonding. Better sleep and overall emotional equilibrium are the outcomes of this normal hormonal reaction.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, the bond is more important than the buzz when trying a sex toy. The most important thing is that you’re exploring together, regardless of whether it results in some surprises and chuckles or new favorite moments. Because even the simplest toys may create the strongest connection when you’re both open, curious, and in it together. With a little toy, there’s a lot of fun!